Parenting Tips

Tips for Parenting a preteen

• Be honest and open with your preteen when talking about your values, beliefs and ideas.

• Say "Here is what I think about..." and briefly explain your views.

• Help your preteen to make responsible choices by talking about their options.

• Tell your preteen if you are disappointed or upset with his or her behavior.

• Give your preteen opportunities to try new activities and learn new skills.

• Express your support and encouragement as they try something new.

• Praise, hug, encourage and say "I love you."

• Recognize that your preteen's life may be very different from your own adolescence.

• Your preteen deserves guidance, expectations for achievement, and a fair balance between rules and freedom.

Tips to teach sharing

• Set a good example. To teach sharing, you must share. If you’re snacking, offer some. Share with others and draw attention to it, for example, “Thanks for sharing your popcorn, Grandma.”

• Set a good example – part 2. When your child shares with you, accept it with a big “Thank you!” Seeing your joy will encourage her to share more often. Rejecting her may cause her to stop offering.

• Show respect. Your child’s things are his. Just because he’s small or didn’t buy them, they’re still his. If you want to borrow something, be sure to ask and say thank you when finished.

• Teach sharing. Make sure your child knows sharing a toy doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. Before a play date, have your child pick a couple things he’d rather not share. Put them away until the friend leaves.

• It’s OK not to share. Sometimes there are things your child isn’t ready to give up. Was it a special gift? Is it new? Forcing her to share when she’s not ready could make her resentful instead of generous. Ask why she doesn’t want to share.
   

Tips for  peaceful bedtimes

• Set a time for bedtime. Try to have bedtime at the same time every night. Be as consistent as you can and offer gentle reminders as bedtime nears.
   

• Establish a bedtime routine. And try to do the same routine each night. Take a bath, read a book, talk about the day, name the best part of the day or any other quiet activity that signals the bedtime routine has begun.
   

• Use a special bedtime comfort. Have a special pillow, blanket, stuffed animal, soft music or night light that’s especially for bedtime use.
   

• If possible, give choices for the routine. “Would you like to sleep with your bear or bunny tonight?” “Which book would you like to read tonight?”
   

• Remember to watch the clock. Don’t start longer games, books or movies before bed as it may cause arguments about wanting to finish them. Also, keep more physical activities for earlier in the evening and quieter activities for closer to bedtime.

Tips to avoid arguments

• Give your child choices. This works at most ages! For example, say, “You have to wear socks, but you can pick the red ones or the blue ones.” Be sure to use choices you can live with and then praise them when they pick, “Good choice!”
   

• Tell your child what to expect. “We’re going to two stores today, but not the toy store.” “You have 10 more minutes to play, then we need to go.”
   

• Model the behavior you’d like to see. Do not argue with your child. Remain calm and do not yell.
   

• Have a routine. This will help children know what to expect. Bedtime is after one book, homework is done before TV, etc. Be sure the rules are clear and consistent.
   

• Explain your reasons. But don’t expect young children to fully understand. Making good decisions takes years of practice and children need a good role model.

Tips for better parenting

• Take time out for your child. Even a few minutes reading or playing with a toy will mean a lot if the child has your full attention.
   

• Set rules. Ground rules help eliminate arguments and teach limits. For example: Homework has to be finished before watching TV.
   

• Be positive. Praise children for good behavior - this will encourage them to repeat the good behavior. Children tend to repeat the actions that get them attention.
   

• Be firm and consistent. Yes means yes and no means no every time. Understanding this will help your child to know what to expect from you. Remember, it's natural for a child to try to stretch the limits - it's part of the growing process. It's your job to be fair, firm and consistent.
   

• Use positive discipline. Criticize the behavior and not the person. For example, say, "I'm upset that you hit your friend" instead of "You're a bad gi rl for hitting your friend."

Tips for shopping with children

• Let your child know what to expect. For example, say, "We are going to the grocery for five things, then to the bank and our last stop will be the gas station."
   

• Eat before you leave. This will keep everyone's energy levels high and help avoid temptation.
   

• Try to avoid crowds. Shopping in the early morning is a good way to avoid most crowds.
   

• Take shorter trips. Marathon shopping will tire and stress both you and your child.
   

• Establish limits. It's hard to say "no" to a child but remember, you're helping him learn to set limits.
   

• Know when it can wait. If it's not something you absolutely need, shop another time when you're both rested and well.

Tips for reading with your child

• Start reading early. Even the youngest baby will enjoy the sound of your voice and the rhythm of a story. If you haven’t started yet, it’s never too late.
   

• Choose appropriate books. Babies and young children enjoy short books that rhyme, have lots of pictures, have lots of repetition, tell a funny story, or are about a child’s favorite animal, activity or show.
   

• Pick a special time to read. Such as bedtime, after supper, before bath or after nap time. Try to read everyday.
   

• Keep it fun! Let the child choose which book to read, use funny voices or tell stories together about the pictures.
   

• Let your child “read” to you. They may remember the story or tell a new one. There’s no wrong way for a child to “read” to you!

Tips to tame tantrums

• Remain calm. Try a distraction with something your child enjoys. Be firm but calm. If you get loud, your child may just get louder.
   

• If possible, give choices. For example, “You have to take a nap, but you can choose your snack when you get up - granola bar, cereal or grapes!”
   

• Ignore a tantrum. If you are able, it is a good technique. Try not to give in and do not punish during a tantrum as everyone’s emotions are running high.
   

• Don’t take it personally. Children become frustrated and overwhelmed, too, but are less able to explain their anger. Be ready to try new techniques as children are always changing and growing.
   

• Anticipate problems. Be ready and prepare your child for what to expect and what choices they’ll have. When everyone is calm, talk about problem times and what each of you can do.

The 2013 Believe in the Blue campaign is brought to you by:

For more information on how you can help prevent child abuse, please contact the National Exchange Club at
800-924-2643 or info@nationalexchangeclub.org

Provided by a generous grant from the American Legion Child Welfare Foundation.